Breakfast With The Loot At Breakfast Thieves

I love breakfast. Really, I do. Whoever invented this most holiest of meals should be given some kind of Excellency in Awesomeness Award. What other meal of the day lets you eat something sickeningly sweet (pancakes I'm looking at you) or else stuff yourself with crispy fried bacon? Answer? No other. Because, let's face it, pancakes and thinly sliced fried pork would never constitute as a socially acceptable lunch or dinner. So, as someone who is as crazy about breakfast as myself, I approached the Fitzroy cafe Breakfast Thieves with some trepidation. Was this some kind of new hipster trend I wasn't aware of? Would they literally steal my breakfast instead of serve it? DEAR GOD, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO ME?! However, as soon as I arrived I breathed a sigh of relief and knew I was in the safest of thieving hands.

Perched on the leafy corner of Rose and Gore Street (don't worry, there's actually no blood or guts in sight), this old transformed chocolate factory appears to be the perfect oasis for a relaxed Sunday brunch. The fit out is warehouse cool, industrial and laid back, with exposed lightbulbs and stools made from scaffolding. But let us not beat around the bush shall we, straight to the business of breakfast. Whether you're a sucker with a sweet tooth or bitchin for some bacon, Thieves has everything you could want on its well endowed menu. Perhaps the 'Brioche Pain Perdu', fat slices of brioche French toast with spiced wine poached plums, white chocolate mascarpone mousse and candied pistachio, is up your alley....Actually, i'm pretty sure that if I met French toast like this in an alley I would be charged with some kind of eating abuse. Really. Or if you like your breakfast between bread, try out the 'Thieves on the Run', an offering of a cheddar-filled omelette with bacon, roquette and homemade tomato relish on a crusty ciabatta roll. I however, couldn't go past 'The Legend' option. Yes, I may have been partly swayed by the name (in the hopes that by eating it I would become a little bit more like Daniel Craig), but I was mostly caught by the description of spicy baked eggs (with the option of chorizo), roasted mushrooms, green peas and feta, all served with herbed garlic toast. I loved the extreme flavour of this dish with it's spicy hit, perfect for a cold Autumn morning. And look, it could be my imagination, but I think my eyes are slightly more piercing and Craig-esk as a result of this dish*. My thieving partner taste tested 'The Leprechaun' (as he is already quite short, there was no obvious physical alteration) which displays four perfectly fried crisp sweet corn and goats feta fritters, sitting aside a warmed grape salad, asparagus, poached eggs and a cherry tomato and honey salsa. The sweetness made it an almost Asian-inpired dish, but all the flavours balanced quite well together. I know right, warm grapes, who would have thought!

Though breakfast be their thang, I was still very tempted by the lunch offerings. Pan-seared sesame crusted tuna served on beans, carrots, coriander, boiled egg and cashew nuts all dressed with a tamarind and chilli dressing sounded, well, amazeballs. As did the organic quinoa crusted bocconcini served with warm cherry tomato salsa, asparagus, sitting atop multigrain toast spread with avocado and drizzled with basil oil. Rest assured people, I shall be returning for at least one, if not all, of these menu items. If all this sounds a little heavy for you, there's a great range of pastries and cakes available (though I seriously would recommend bypassing these and going hard for the breakfasts) and the coffee, roasted by STREAT, can most definitely hold it's own.

It might be a little out of the way when you've got Brunswick Street to the left of you and Smith Street to the right, but I would highly suggest giving this little cafe a crack. Friendly service, a comfortable space, good coffee and FREAKING AWESOME FOOD (sorry....i'm composed now) will make a visit worth your while. I could conclude with some awful joke about Breakfast thieves stealing my heart rather than my breakfast, but look...we both know i'm not going to do that. Daniel Craig would never do that.

*Daniel Craig accepts no responsibility for any transformation you may, or may not, personally experience through the consumption of 'The Legend'.