In Melbourne's Top Paddock

Iv'e decided that there's a basic equation behind every good Melbourne cafe. A kind of common recipe if you will, that makes each one worth going back to...even if it means taking two trains and three trams to get there. Now, I'm no mathematical genius, but through my powerful (and somewhat dubious) mathematical deductions I have concluded that: rocking coffee + amazeballs food + good service + sweet location = a great Melbourne cafe. This might sound simple enough, but I think we'd all be surprised how challenging this little algorithm (or should I say caforithm?) is to perfect. Particularly when cafe competition is so fierce in Melbourne that baristas from different cafes will practically spear tackle each other off their fixies. Oh yeah, it's a serious problem people. So, when I went for Saturday breakfast at Top Paddock, one of Melbourne's top cafe contenders, I was ready to be brutal in my critiquing. Man, I would be so picky they wouldn't stand a chance!

As it turns out, I loved it. Actually, that's a bit of an understatement because I really loved it. It's probably one of the best cafe experiences Iv'e had for quite some time. I just couldn't do it, I couldn't find fault no mater how hard I tried. This new Richmond cafe, located on 'I'm cooler than Chapel' Church Street, has certainly been making its fair share of noise, and now I know why. We were greeted by smiling wait staff as we entered the large, light filled cafe and were seated immediately despite it being packed. Perched upon bar stools I felt perfectly comfortable, surrounded by light timber, walls of windows perfect for people watching and the odd sprout of green to add vibrancy. Coffee, of the Five Sense variety, also arrived promptly and was delicately sweet and nicely drinkable. So far Top Paddock had ticked three out of the four criteria in my highly researched and completely Nobel Award-worthy equation. Surely they would fall short on the food right?

 

Err, no. When I looked at the menu I decided to give up all hope of attempting to be a hard arse as it became obvious that these guys know their stuff. An incredibly well designed all day menu that blends breakfast, brunch and lunch (blunch?) into one combined page of deliciousness. I don't know about you, but Iv'e never been to a cafe that has four different offerings of muesli and porridge. FOUR! Bircher muesli with natural yogurt and green tea poached fruit doesn't take your fancy? Well don't you worry because there's also polenta porridge with figs maple and currents! For a little twist on an old classic there's the purple potato and buffalo ash brie omelette with padron peppers on sourdough, or perhaps you'd like to be a little radical with some pan fried snapper with chilli fried egg, avocado salsa and lime and corn tortilla. 

Given the dreary weather (seriously Melbourne, 12 straight hours of rain...what's up with that?) I couldn't go past the local pine mushrooms with chilli scrambled eggs and boatshed feta on multigrain toast. The eggs were perfectly cooked with a good hit of chilli and I wish I had a never ending bowl of those mushrooms...but really. My pork procuring companion opted for the pulled pork on rye toast with prunes, leaves and boatshed goats curd. The meat was wonderfully soft with oozy goats curd finishing the dish perfectly. So, amazeballs food? Most definitely.

 

Despite my best efforts, I could do nothing but love Top Paddock. It did more than simply fulfil my equation, it took it out into the middle of the ocean, made like Kim Jong Un and exploded it with a nuclear bomb (maybe too soon for that one?). I think Melbourne has reached an all time high with its cafes at the moment and Top Paddock has certainly come out...well, on top.